Contemplating the Reality of Living on My Own

Perkins student Bella submitted this post as part of her work for her English class.  The assignment was to write about living on their own after Perkins.

To be honest I am completely and entirely terrified! I have always had the thought of moving out in my mind since I grew into my early teens. I thought about how I would go to college and party, stay up late only to return to my room as my morning alarm clock reaches out its hands, grabs my dreams, and forces me to wake up. Life was going to be one big vacation where rules didn't matter, until I was about to start my senior year. 

Blindness can often make other people think twice about the idea of an individual living on their own. I constantly find myself in situations where adults are reminding me of the bills and responsibilities that I will have to endure. For example, since I am blind, I can’t just get into my car and explore the roads. I would have to find a bus/train route, arrange a ride with a relative or friend, call The Ride services one day in advance of my trip, or find a walking route. Also cooking would be a challenge; how am I supposed to know if a piece of chicken is fully cooked, or if there are little shells hiding inside my delicious cheese and ham omelet? I could bite into what I think is a perfectly eatable meal, and CRUNCH! there is that egg shell I couldn't see. 

There still is a lot that I need to learn. My childhood view of freedom is a misperception of reality. I am so used to the warm hug from my mom and dad, and the reassuring question of “How was your day, honey?” When I live in a college dorm or apartment, there will be no dinner on the table, or a family movie night. Living on my own will be challenging, but I am as ready as I’ll ever be. The end of this blog has no conclusion, but it symbolizes how I feel about moving out. Sometimes it is okay not to have a resolution, just like it is okay to be unsure of something. 

Collage of teenager contemplating living on her own